Warning: Utter bollocks
Ever read 'The Castle' by Kafka? So have I, as a teenager. Did my fucking head in. How about the Gormenghast trilogy? And why has noone made a movie of that shit? It would be marvellous! Or has someone made a movie of it? Enlighten me you fuckers.
Ever had your life turned upside-down, inside-out, arse-backwards, royally fucked, so that you know not what the fuck to do? It really is fucked-up. Very soon I will have a shitload of money and these choices to make: Where to live. What to do. How to be. Who to be. Why the fuck. Who's your Daddy. Soon I hope to see it as a great, exciting adventure, full of opportunity etc. At the moment I'm simply terrified. I have to concentrate on keeping food down I'm so full of fear.
That wasn't very fucking funny was it Brewski you terrible cunt. Get back in the saddle. See? I've started talking to myself. I think this is a consequence of running out of weed. I'm at a relative's house where I cannot restock. Consequently last night I had the most vivid dreams imaginable. Anyone who smokes that skunky, funky, smelly-green shit will know exactly what I mean. As usual it was the ole falling elevator along with crashing aircraft that my brain decided to project in lurid Cinemascope with full-on surround sound. Jesus Christ, can't I even rely on my brain to not fuck with me? And before you equate me with a hopeless addict, you can be fucked. I am enamoured of both wine and smoke, but also with taking a break regularly. From smoking anyway. Alright then only when I have to. Don't look at me like that.
I suppose my fear of the future is all to do with this: Lives built around human constructs fuck me off. Materialism. Prestige. 'Education'. The exam system as a measure of intellect? I think fucking not. Tele-cunting-vision. The immersion of the corporate mind into our worldviews. Supplicating myself and submitting to shit that others tell me is the truth, is reality? I implore you not to answer that since I'm boring the shit out of myself. You must be comatose.
Don Quixote. Fucking spastic. And Pancho has a lot to answer for also. Were they drinking absinthe I wonder?
Here's a quiz: Which one of these things have I never done?
a) Seen someone get shot in the head.
b) Eaten lobster.
c) Crack.
d) Had sex in a church.
Fucking hell.
Sirrah!
"I have balls the size of buildings!" Any astronaut who has been round the dark side of the moon. Fuck me.
posted by Brewski @ 1:18 am
11 comments
11 Comments:
BBC did a 4 part Mini series on Gormenghast (1st two books) a couple of years back. All star British cast, including Stephen Fry, John Sessions, Christopeher Lee, and the woman who plays Dot Cotton from Eastenders.
Yep they did, around year 2000. It wasn't bad either.
I'm guessing that despite your penchant for mind-altering substances the one thing you haven't done is crack. Failing that it's eaten lobster. The other two are just a little too big for you to have written without having done, no matter how addled your brain is.
brewski, you fucking beauty!
I must respectfully disagree with Mr McShae here. As a Gormenghast fanatic I thought the TV series sucked the sweat off a dead dog's balls. The programme-makers conceived of the castle as Chinese in appearance, which didn't work at all.
I reckon D. As you've been out East you've probably experienced all the others. Buy yourself a pad in Wapping, very funky and full of good nutty folk, and easy to let if you go off travelling.
Spend it all in a week and a half like we did our grant cheques. On second thoughts, don't do that, it was shit. Build a skate park for the under privileged of northern sumatra, start a team, take over the world.
Must be B. Staring at you with its beady little eyes.
"As a Gormenghast fanatic..." Foot Eater, how did we know that?
Brewski, take NO advice on the matter. My advice is to a) keep it all to yourself, b) take your time, c) do what 'feels right', d) do not be rushed, e) take your time.
Never read any Kafka, although stayed in a hotel in Prague which once was an insurance office where the great man worked.
There were two prossies in the lift one day.
Quigs - cunt!
Footy - What the Good D. said.
Sexy B. - Wrong. And I think old Laahndan Town is too....much for me. She treated me very badly as a student back in the day.
G. - It was 9 days actually.
Good D. - That's some good advice I shouldn't be taking. Seriously, it's calmed me down. Cheers.
And the answer is....B! How can people eat that shit? G. was correct, but only cuz he knows me the poor bastard. And Binty was on target also. I suppose these blogs allow us to know aspects of each other moreso than we realise. Like if we met personally, we wouldn't be surprised at all by each other. Blah blah blah. Shut the fuck up sez you.
Whose crack did you do, then? And was it from the front or from the rear?
klylv: (Onomatopoeia) The sound of a drunken Ukrainian requesting directions southwards.
Challinor you are a mucky pup.
jcuaju: Polynesian pigmy dialect meaning "There is no more sap in this tree. Move on".
Was there a film called Brewski's millions?
Were you on you own when you had sex in the church?
Or was it with a Lobster?
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