30.10.05

Sloths are fucking wicked

Animals, man. They rule. Other than drinking and smoking, another fine quality that should be part of everyone's lives is the desire to be around animals. I can't get enough of the cunts.

Few years ago, a girlfriend and I looked after a dog of a friend of hers for a couple of weeks. It was a toy-dog, some kind of little terrier I think, with long, lank greasy hair. I can't remember the breed. I fucking hated yappy little dogs, and was convinced they were all cunts. I was bitten by one on the knee when I was ten. Will I make a joke about that shitty old adage? No, I will not. Anyway, after a few days of me generally sneering and taking the piss out of the little bitch, one evening there was a mad thunderstorm, loud as fuck. I have never seen such a terrified creature in all my life. The dog yelped and shivered, trying to bury herself in the intractable corner of the kitchen, just fucking pulsing with fear. So anyway I took her up and comforted her and shit, and she slept on my bed that night. After that, we were all right. She was quite a laugh, when you got to know her.
Anyway, animals are good for the soul, and that is all.
Sirrah!

"Why are all those human cunts staring at me?" The Happy Sloth

10 Comments:

At 3:27 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How well did you get to know her?

 
At 10:39 am, Blogger Brewski said...

For just two short weeks, we became the best of buddies. Canindian, you have a lewd fucking mind. And where the fuck is Canindia, anyway?

 
At 1:45 am, Blogger michael the tubthumper said...

i read a thing that said that young sloths haven't got the whole sloth thang figured out and often grab their own arms thinking its the branch and fall off.

 
At 1:53 am, Blogger Brewski said...

That explains my affinity for them then.

 
At 3:49 am, Blogger Andraste said...

I agree, Brewski. Sloths are okay. I got no beef with them.

I do, however, generally hate little yapper dogs, in principle. Once I've gotten to know some of them, though, they've been all right. Except one. A long-haired Chihuahua that belonged to a high school friend, just never warmed up to me. It looked like it crawled out of a Dr. Seuss book. That little fucker is rotting in hell now. I'm just sorry I'm not the one who sent it there.

 
At 3:59 am, Blogger michael the tubthumper said...

i like dogs but i wouldn't want one that i have to carry about.

 
At 12:23 pm, Blogger LindyK said...

My sister had a chihuahua once... fucker was natural prey for hawks... I'm just sad the bastards missed. You couldn't see the damned thing when it ran in the lawn, the glorified rat...

 
At 3:11 pm, Blogger Brewski said...

Leg-humping is also an issue with the little 'uns, is it not? Horny buggers.

 
At 2:34 am, Blogger Golden Gate Mama said...

aww...man befriends greasy-haired decadent mutt. coming of age story, methinks..

 
At 9:24 pm, Blogger Brewski said...

It taught me a lesson as far as 'dog-predujice' goes anyway. I'd always been leery of Greyhounds as well, but a few years later I spent some time with one, and we got along famously. Fucking great dogs. And more generally; fucking great, dogs.

 

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