Breakfast and a pint and everyting's aariight

I must say that mass circulation newspapers the world over, those myth-dealing witless fucks, are fucking cunts. How the fuck do you see life as a staffer at Fox News, the Sun newspaper, at the bbc? Those letters don't deserve capitalisation these days. You fucking lab rat you. Fuck cnn. Amanpour should fuck off with her diplomat or whatever the high-ranking fuck he is husband and then fuck off some more. Wolf Blitzer? Situation Room? Come near me and I will fucking do you harm my son. It's like screaming, "STOP IT!!" at a dirty raging storm while standing on a high vicious bluff above the crushing rage of waves....

...and trying to piss into it and make a difference.

I've just got the new landline installed, and bought a new phone. I fucking love the phone because the cunts' screen is golden lumescent brown like a gadget from 'The Empire Strikes Back'. 'Avin' it.

Jenny Agutter in 'Logan's Run'. Fucking hell.

Fuck that. 'Walkabout'.

Oh yes aye.

Yeah so anyway my girl is doing yoga in the meditation room, my dog is sleeping under the wisteria just outside the back door, the sun is shining, I be hitting the Stella and just getting mashed up on the bud, the petroglyphs I can go see whenever the fuck I want at low tide, and the world rules the world. I hugged a tree yesterday that was a sapling when Marco Polo was fucking shit up. And if you deride me using the term 'tree-hugging cunt' I will concur just before I relieve you of your life by jabbing you in the throat or something.

Absolutely fuck all. Don't you just love the way I tend to preface each paragraph with a bold statement of it's subject?

Couple of lines even, for those cunts paying attention.

'The War on Terror'. 'Islamic Fascism'. 'Terrorist'. You peddle these terms you stupid fucking cunt and I anticipate with pleasure the bitter inescapable anguish that will consume you as you approach death, agonized and twitching with shame. If I could I'd pay to watch, uneducated death-merchant fuck. Christ Almighty the mass media fucks me off.

West coast eggs benedict. Fucking lush.

Getting some funny reactions sometimes to my English accent here in Canadia. Some woman sang a song with a band in the pub, and as they finished we were just leaving. The song was great, so as I passed her I shouted, "FUCKING WICKED!" She shat herself.

A pox on all SUV drivers! Fuck me this country's full of 'em. I'd get some of those stickers that say 'You SUV-driving cunt you' and slap them on but it would be a round the clock vocation, so fuckit. Honestly, the size of the fucking things. What the fuck?

Yesterday afternoon I sat in the back garden and sucked on a cone and listened as my Navajo neighbour had a pow-wow or did a rain dance or something. His strange chanting in the distance had induced in me a calm spirituality. He was probably intoning something like, "Why don't you all fuck off you bunch of white cunts and leave me be".

I notice Tony Blair is suggesting that mothers and young families should be monitored so that the state can intervene if the youngsters start getting out of line. What in the sweet name of Jesus is that fucking cunt on about? Punch me in the face fuck's sake.


"Little kids need Ritalin hit me with a full tin of gin and I'm a kid again". MC Doom.


At 3:48 am, Blogger Philip said...

Tony has just come back from two weeks in the Caribbean. I think he must have gone out without his pith helmet once or twice; either that or his own spin doctors are sabotaging him by removing the gag and restraints at just the wrong moments.

oowgdl: the lonely, mournful cry of the Great Crested Canadian Snow Goose. Just after it's shat itself.

At 2:27 am, Blogger Dr Maroon said...

It's quite straightforward really. Under a certain income bracket they have a chip fitted. If they get out of line it explodes. Where's the harm?

dvilpix: no shit. that's what it says. weird.

At 1:13 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 2:39 am, Blogger Brewski said...

The comment included a personal email address and I didn't want you freaks to read it. Put THAT in your pan and fry it.

At 6:02 pm, Anonymous csm said...

ohhhhh... you you you. lord god damn im happy for you. ...nearly in tears. i can see it... i can see you and she and that big hairy freak of nature dog... you canadian crusty fucks! ave' it my son...

xxx csm



At 2:48 am, Blogger daveawayfromhome said...

Here in the U.S., BBC seems like a genuine news agency, because they actually ask a tough question from time to time, something even NPR (with purse strings in control of GOP fascist censors) doesnt do. Maybe if we could put BBC and al Jazeera in a can (with a touch of John Stewart), then shake it real hard, we'd get real reporting. Maybe not. Perhaps we should inter Rupert Murdoch in a deep, dark mine for good ju ju, just to be sure.

At 9:31 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I really must start doing some Yoga...


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