Extra-Terrestrial Cunts

I saw a UFO once. Must have been 1987, I was 17. 'Bout two in the morning I was walking my dog Felix. This was just before I found my calling in life, so yes, I was sober you cunts. I walked up the street to the top of the hill, where it opens up to a large area bisected by a quiet road. Almost directly in front about 800 meters away was a pub, The Wheatsheaf, on the edge of a council estate, a real shithole. Drank there often. A huge factory was further to the right about 1500 meters away. No cars, no noise. A noise. A deep, slow, whoomph, whoomph, whoomph, like a choppers' rotors slowed down by a thousand times, reverberating deeply, but not loudly, an oscillating 'bass'. Hard to describe. Felix (Great Dane-something smaller cross, the greatest dog to ever live) stopped at the same time as me, and I looked to where he stared. Directly above the pub was a muted white light that throbbed in time with the sound. I couldn't see it's outline. A woman with a carrier bag was to my left, and she had stopped and was staring. Felix couldn't take his eyes off of it. For thirty seconds it remained stationary. And then, in one instant, the object was over the factory. In a split-second, with no change to the sound. Reality changed, because I knew for a fact no human invention was capable of such speed and agility. I looked again at the woman, and she was running away down past the pub. After two minutes or so, the sound stopped, and the throbbing light rose slowly into the cloud cover and disappeared.

Since childhood I've sensed that most of life is an indoctrination, and had always felt that I needed to lift veils. At 17 I was still very much a child, and therefore shocked at how blithely I took it. It's only now as an adult that I've started to run around screaming, "They're here! They're here God help us all!!" Deferred realization on a platter. I suspect it has informed my life ever since, since I tend to piss on anything that smacks of cuntiness, by which I mean all the 'reality dealers' that aspire to control.

What the fuck do you make of that then?

Sirrah!

"We are indeed surrounded by magic my friends. Check that bastard monolith out". The first coherent sentence uttered by homo sapien.

"Fucking hell! Quick! Let's smoke some more of that good shit before I batter you with this bone!". The second.

Addendum: It is Saturday afternoon. I have just shaved my head after letting my hair grow an inch too long, and am currently getting to work on a brace of Tsing Taos. In a short while I will stroll for a minute through the alleys to the wine shop, where I will pick up a couple of bottles of a lovely Spanish they have. They are kind enough also to stock big skins, of which I will avail myself thrice. All is well. End of fucking addendum.