Run for the hills my pretties!

'Hirsute'. Fuck 'hirsute'. Why can't you just say 'hairy'?

After watching the base hypocrisy of the talking-heads blathering on about the conclusions of the Iraq Study Group I ran into the bathroom and puked violently. Truly a total pack of lying fucking cunts. How the fuck am I supposed to reconcile myself to the amorality of Government, Inc.? My sadness and melancholy of five years ago is curdling into anger. And not good anger. A kind of blind rage, a stupid little puppy who's eyes have not yet opened. Fucking hell, shall I write a poem?

Why do cunts like Pinochet always die before they can be quietly abused by their guards for years in prison? How long is a piece of string, and why is water wet?

In the latest National Geographic there are the most recent photos of Saturn and her rings. Pure mentalism.

Which reminds me, while in Tipperary a few months ago with a friend we were cracking up when we realised our depth of expression on encountering beauty:

(Upon walking out the cottage door at midnight to a sky blanketed with stars): "Fuck me!" "Christ". "Fucking wicked!"

(Upon cresting a hill on a sunny afternoon to see the plains of Tipperary spread below us): "Fucking gorgeous". "Kill me now". "Look at that fucker".

Another area in which I'm patently deficient at the moment is social interaction. For the most part I've been spending my days for the past few months alone in this house in the bush. (Jumps as he hears a noise, looks around feverishly). So I've become a bit of a spastic. Three lads came around the other day to, ahem, drop something off. I was like a little girl with friends around for the first time, such was the novelty. I don't even know the cunts!

Did you see the mugshots of Rip Torn, the man with the greatest name ever, after he was arrested for DUI? Go on my son! Proud. PROUD? Proud.

Go and have a Jin Shin Do massage. It will fucking freak you out. Jedi mind-games, know what I mean?


"If you've ever seen an ivory-billed woodpecker I will eat my own head". Me.


At 11:26 am, Blogger Binty McShae said...

It never ceases to amaze me that the so-called civilised nations of the west can go after one cunt in Iraq that THEY installed and THEY supported with weaponry and by turning a blind eye for years, yet when it comes to another cunt that THEY installed and supported (this time in Chile) they pretty much let the fucker live out his final years in relative peace.

...still, no oil in Chile I suppose.

At 5:37 pm, Blogger Dr Maroon said...

Water is only wet by definition. It's actually quite dry.

wv: kyohoy! (phonetic) Russian exclamation when the vodka runs out.

At 5:46 pm, Blogger SheBah said...

Brewski, you've been cut off too long, you'll soon start growing your toenails and fingernails like Getty.

At 1:50 am, Blogger Foot Eater said...

Please tell me you Photoshopped that picture.

At 4:09 am, Blogger Brewski said...

That picture is un-manipulated Footy. It's a still from a pre-speech warm-up when one of the crew asked what his message would be to the American people. Another example of his TFC-ness. (TFC= total fucking cunt).

At 1:12 pm, Anonymous quigs said...


this picture is also un-manipulated. He seems so...aware

At 3:46 am, Blogger Philip said...

The wetness of water is probably due to its moisture content which, laid lengthwise, would be about as long as a piece of string.

txell,n. The standard exclamation on discovering a buffalo up your bum.

At 9:01 pm, Blogger lucien de la peste said...

More Pinochet nonsense Here.

At 6:40 pm, Blogger Dr Maroon said...

It's Christmas tomorrow Brewski.

Thought you should know.

So have a Merry one.

At 6:39 pm, Blogger Kieran said...

I'm getting a massage next week. Is it inappropiate to exclaim "fucking wicked" and "aaahhh fuck" during the process? I intend to.


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